who are the people behind Grounded af?

Hey hey, we are Frank & Jess Dickson! We are just two fucked up people healing on a real and deep level together. We had to go through hell and back to find the path we are on now, and honestly we wouldn’t change a thing.

Sounds crazy right? Don’t get me wrong, I HATED all the shit I went through but I know that I wouldn’t have the understanding and relatability to others on their quest for healing without going through it. I never thought I would say I am grateful for all that bullshit, but it started this whole journey.

My husband Frank was born in 1981 in Bellflower, CA, a part of Los Angeles. His mom struggled with mental illness, and his dad was a Navy vet that was in and out of his life. At the age of 8 Frank and his little brother went to live with their grandparents in a small mining town in New Mexico because their mom was no longer capable of taking care of them. Frank’s grandparents were of the WWII generation (his grandpa was a WWII Army vet), and they gave Frank and his brother a life their mom couldn’t. Although it was very definitely for the best, that experience left Frank with mom and abandonment issues.

Frank’s grandpa’s military service inspired Frank to join the Army his senior year in high school. He was quickly deployed to Iraq and having never drank alcohol before joining the military, needless to say he learned a lot of bad habits and returned to civilian life with an addiction to alcohol that would control him the next 20+ years. He returned to military service after a few years, and you guessed it, his addiction only got worse. Fast forward several years and one beautiful daughter later, Frank is on his second marriage and finally hit an absolute rock bottom, like nasty gutter shit, and that’s when he woke the fuck up and went to an inpatient rehab which changed our lives forever.

I was born in Champaign, IL in 1978, a mid sized college town an hour south of Chicago. I had a fairly normal childhood, I was very much a latch key kid. My dad is a Vietnam veteran which came with issues I had no idea at the time were symptoms of PTSD, so no shocker my parents divorced when I was 11 and my dad moved several hours away, so it was just me, my mom and my brother for a few years. I got really into drugs and alcohol around 15 yo which became a problem for me for years. Moved to Indiana with my dad and his other family at 21 because I needed to get out of the environment where my addiction started. Two husbands and 4 sons later, I was offered a job with a national veteran organization on the west coast that focused on preventing veteran suicide. My oldest son was serving in the Air Force when I took the job, so as a Blue Star mom I could connect with the Gold Star family members in a way that non of the other staff members could. I learned a lot about mental health, triggers, contributing factors and that mind, body and spirit have to heal together.

After 3 years with the org Frank & I met, we were each other’s missing piece. Fast forward 2 years, I lost my job (thats a whole devastating fucked up story for another time), I also lost part of my “family” in that process, had to file bankruptcy, my car was repoed, couldn’t find a job for months and months, became very suicidal (imagine being suicidal after working for an org that worked to prevent suicide), Frank fell off the wagon and moved out, around the same time as frank’s relapse my second oldest son (he & his pregnant wife were living with us) left for Army basic training thousands of miles away just a few weeks before Christmas and while he was gone his first child was born. To top ALL of that shit off, I am going through peri menopause which by itself is trying to kill me, I honestly wanted to unalive myself every-single day. I had no one, the one friend I had betrayed me which was so heartbreaking and none of my parents or siblings lived in this state. I had no one in the darkest time of my entire 47 years.

Near the end of January, after the worst Christmas I have ever experienced, my husband (we were still technically married) text me and said “I’m not doing well, I think I need to get help”. These were the words I had prayed to hear one day. I suggested inpatient treatment because I knew AA wasn’t going to be the help he needed at that time, and that is where our healing together began.

In rehab they used science backed and “alternative” methods to help patients with whichever addiction had a grip on their lives. When Frank went to some of these alternative healing classes (sound baths, yoga, meditation etc), it was an ah ha moment for him which peaked my curiosity about these methods.

In the beginning of his time in rehab it was a struggle for me that I didn’t expect. I REALLY started to HATE and resent my husband and the Army. I thought, how the fuck can the Army not only allow all the drinking and what it did to our family, but at times encourage and praise it, and even reward their soldiers with alcohol knowing it has destroyed so many families and then turn around and set the soldier up with amazing help help and the spouse that went through FUCKING HELL isn’t even acknowledged or offer to help them in the same way! So now I am alone AGAIN to figure shit out on my own. After the first week my resentment started to fade when I noticed my husband, my best friend, my protector started to become who I knew he really was. I started to embrace rehab and eventually became the cheerleader he needed me to be for him.

While he was in rehab we both decided I needed to get help too; he can’t come home on this healing journey and I am a broken mess, so I came across some mental health retreats in Sedona, AZ. Bingo!! THIS is where MY healing journey begins! After all the shit I have put up with and been through, I deserve it right?!

I left a couple days after Frank returned from rehab because we have 2 young sons we are still raising. I had no real expectations going into this, only that I was in a place of desperation. I actually called my husband right after arriving to the retreat because I desperately wanted to leave, but he said “just give it a try, if you aren’t feeling it after the first day, come home”. Ok, Im gonna give it a try, but no promises. The first day was more than what I thought I needed, so I stayed for the whole week and had the most profound, life altering experiences of my entire 47 years, my WHOLE ASS LIFE!! I left AZ with a whole new look at life in general and our life together and where we go from here.

Doctors and medical professionals say our minds are very powerful and the body follows where the mind goes. That means we have the power to heal ourselves right? Yes, as a matter of fact, we do. So, I start researching psychology degrees, but not just the same old out dated, clinical, psychology degree. I want to know how the mind works on a deep level, spiritual even. I want to understand why the things we experience throughout life turn into mental illness and disorders for some and not others, and how epigenetics is an indicator of our mental strengths, weaknesses and responses to things that don’t make sense. I am currently working on a bachelors degree in psychology with a specialization in Wellness and Life Coaching, and because of Frank’s experience with addiction he got certified as a Peer Support Counselor.

Without going through hell and living to tell the tale, Frank and I wouldn’t have sought individual healing the way that we did to find our true purposes in this life. We are both still healing from the things we have been through, but at the same time grateful for the experience because we found ourselves and now there is no going back. We want to help anyone and everyone that we can to not feel like suffering it the only option, you have choices and you can take control of your healing and the outcome of your story.